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All At Sea, The Voyage Of A Certain Uncertain Sailorman

I saw a certain sailorman who sat beside the sea,

And in the manner of his tribe he yawned this yarn to me:

"'Twere back in eighteen-fifty-three, or mebbe fifty-four,

I skipped the farm, no, 't were the shop, an' went to Baltimore.

I shipped aboard the Lizzie or she might ha' bin the Jane;

Them wimmin names are mixey, so I don't remember plain;

But anyhow, she were a craft that carried schooner rig,

(Although Sam Swab, the bo'sun, allus swore she were a brig);

We sailed away from Salem Town, no, lemme think; 't were Lynn,

An' steered a course for Africa (or Greece, it might ha' bin);

But anyway, we tacked an' backed an' weathered many a storm

Oh, no, as I recall it now, that week was fine an' warm!

Who did I say the cap'n was? I didn't say at all?

Wa-a-ll now, his name were 'Lijah Bell or was it Eli Ball?

I kinder guess 't were Eli. He'd a big, red, bushy beard

No-o-o, come to think, he allus kept his whiskers nicely sheared.

But anyhow, that voyage was the first I'd ever took,

An' all I had to do was cut up cabbage for the cook;

But come to talk o' cabbage just reminds me, that there trip

Would prob'ly be my third one, on a Hong Kong clipper-ship.

The crew they were a jolly lot, an' used to sing 'Avast,'

I think it were, or else 'Ahoy,' while bailing out the mast.

And as I recollect it now, "

But here I cut him short,

And said: "It's time to tack again, and bring your wits to port;

I came to get a story both adventurous and true,

And here is how I started out to write the interview:

'I saw a certain sailorman,' but you turn out to be

The most un-certain sailorman that ever sailed the sea!"

He puffed his pipe, and answered, "Wa-a-ll, I thought 'twere mine, but

still,

I must ha' told the one belongs to my twin brother Bill!"