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King Borria Bungalee Boo

by William Schwenck Gilbert

Was a man-eating African swell;

His sigh was a hullaballoo,

His whisper a horrible yell

A horrible, horrible yell!

Four subjects, and all of them male,

To Borria doubled the knee,

They were once on a far larger scale,

But he'd eaten the balance, you see

("Scale" and "balance" is punning, you see.)

There was haughty Pish-Tush-Pooh-Bah,

There was lumbering Doodle-Dum-Deh,

Despairing Alack-a-Dey-Ah,

And good little Tootle-Tum-Teh

Exemplary Tootle-Tum-Teh.

One day there was grief in the crew,

For they hadn't a morsel of meat,

And Borria Bungalee Boo

Was dying for something to eat

"Come provide me with something to eat!"

"Alack-a-Dey, famished I feel;

Oh, good little Tootle-Tum-Teh,

Where on earth shall I look for a meal?

For I haven't no dinner to-day!

Not a morsel of dinner to-day!

"Dear Tootle-Tum, what shall we do?

Come, get us a meal, or in truth,

If you don't we shall have to eat you,

Oh, adorable friend of our youth!

Thou beloved little friend of our youth!"

And he answered, "Oh Bungalee Boo,

For a moment I hope you will wait

Tippy-Wippity Tol-the-Rol-Loo

Is the queen of a neighboring state

A remarkably neighboring state.

"Tippy-Wippity Tol-the-Rol-Loo,

She would pickle deliciously cold

And her four pretty Amazons, too,

Are enticing, and not very old

Twenty-seven is not very old.

"There is neat little Titty-Fol-Leh,

There is rollicking Tral-the-Ral-Lah,

There is jocular Waggety-Weh.

There is musical Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah

There's the nightingale Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah!"

So the forces of Bungalee Boo

Marched forth in a terrible row,

And the ladies who fought for Queen Loo

Prepared to encounter the foe

This dreadful insatiate foe!

But they sharpened no weapons at all,

And they poisoned no arrows not they!

They made ready to conquer or fall

In a totally different way

An entirely different way.

With a crimson and pearly-white dye

They endeavored to make themselves fair,

With black they encircled each eye,

And with yellow they painted their hair

(It was wool, but they thought it was hair).

And the forces they met in the field

And the men of King Borria said,

"Amazonians, immediately yield!"

And their arrows they drew to the head,

Yes, drew them right up to the head.

But jocular Waggety-Weh,

Ogled Doodle-Dum-Deh (which was wrong)

And neat little Titty-Fol-Leh,

Said, "Tootle-Tum, you go along!

You naughty old dear, go along!"

And rollicking Tral-the-Ral-Lah

Tapped Alack-a-Dey-Ah with her fan;

And musical Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah,

Said "Pish, go away, you bad man!

Go away, you delightful young man!"

And the Amazons simpered and sighed,

And they ogled, and giggled, and flushed,

And they opened their pretty eyes wide,

And they chuckled, and flirted, and blushed

(At least, if they could, they'd have blushed).

But haughty Pish-Tush-Pooh-Bah

Said, "Alack-a-Dey, what does this mean?"

And despairing Alack-a-Dey-Ah

Said, "They think us uncommonly green,

Ha! ha! most uncommonly green!"

Even blundering Doodle-Dum-Deh

Was insensible quite to their leers

And said good little Tootle-Tum-Teh,

"It's your blood we desire, pretty dears

We have come for our dinners, my dears!"

And the Queen of the Amazons fell

To Borria Bungalee Boo,

In a mouthful he gulped, with a yell,

Tippy-Wippity Tol-the-Rol-Loo

The pretty Queen Tol-the-Rol-Loo.

And neat little Titty-Fol-Leh

Was eaten by Pish-Pooh-Bah,

And light-hearted Waggety-Weh

By dismal Alack-a-Deh-Ah

Despairing Alack-a-Deh-Ah.

And rollicking Tral-the-Ral-Lah

Was eaten by Doodle-Dum-Deh,

And musical Doh-Reh-Mi-Fah

By good little Tootle-Tum-Teh

Exemplary Tootle-Tum-Teh!