Northern Farmer (Old Style)

Wheer 'asta be'n saw long and me' liggin' 'ere alo'n?
Noorse? thoort nowt o' a noorse: whoy, doctor's abe'n an' ago'n:
Says that I mo'nt 'a naw moor a'le: but I be'nt a fool:
Git ma my a'le, fur I be'nt a-gooin' to bre'k my rule.
II.
Doctors, they knaws nowt, for a says what's nawways true:
Naw soort o' koind o' use to sa'y the things that a do.
I've 'ed my point o' a'le ivry noight sin' I be'n 'ere,
An' I've 'ed my quart ivry market-noight for foorty year.
III.
Parson's a be'n loikewoise, an' a sittin' ere o' my bed.
'The amoighty's a ta'kin o' you to 'iss'n, my friend,' a said,
An' a towd ma my sins, an's toithe were due, an' I gied it in hond;
I done my duty by un, as I 'a done by the lond.
IV.
Larn'd a ma' be'. I reckons I 'annot sa mooch to larn.
But a cast oop, thot a did, 'boot Bessy Marris's barn.
Thaw a knaws I hallus vo'ted wi' Squoire an' choorch an sta'te,
An' i' the woost o' toimes I wur niver agin the ra'te.
V.
An' I hallus comed to 's choorch afoor moy Sally wur de'd,
An' 'e'rd 'um a bummin' awa'y loike a buzzard-clock ower my 'e'd,
An' I niver knaw'd whot a mean'd but I thowt a 'ad summut to sa'y,
An I thowt a said whot a owt to 'a said an' I comed awa'y.
VI.
Bessy Marris's barn! tha knaws she la'id it to me'.
Mowt 'a be'n, mayhap, for she wur a bad un, she'.
'Siver, I kep un, I kep un, my lass, tha mun understond;
I done my duty by un as I 'a done boy the lond.
VII.
But Parson a comes an' a go's, an' a says it easy an' free'
'The amoighty's a ta'kin o' you to 'issen, my friend,' says 'e'.
I we'nt sa'y men be loiars, thof summun said it in 'a'ste:
But a re'ds wonn sarmin a wee'k, an' I 'a stubb'd Thornaby wa'ste.
VIII.
D'ya moind the wa'ste, my lass? naw, naw, tha was not born then;
Theer wur a boggle in it, I often 'e'rd 'um mysen;
Mo'st loike a butter-bump, for I 'e'rd 'um about an' about,
But I stubb'd un oop wi' the lot, an' ra'ved an rembled 'um out.
IX.
Ke'per's it wur; fo' they fun 'um theer a la'id on 'is fa'ce
Down i' the woild 'enemies afoor I coom'd to the pla'ce.
No'ks or Thimbleby'to'ner 'ed shot un as de'd as a na'il.
No'ks wur 'ang'd for it oop at 'soize'but git ma my a'le.
X.
Dubbut loo'k at the wa'ste: theer warn't not fee'd for a cow:
Nowt at all but bracken an' fuzz, an' loo'k at it now'
Warn't worth nowt a ha'cre, an' now theer's lots o' fee'd,
Fourscoor yows upon it an' some on it down i' see'd.
XI.
Nobbut a bit on it's left, an' I me'n'd to 'a stubb'd it at fall,
Done it ta-year I me'n'd, an' runn'd plow thruff it an' all,
If godamoighty an' parson 'ud nobbut let ma alo'n,
Me', wi' ha'te hoonderd ha'cre o' Squoire's, an' lond o' my o'n.
XII.
Do godamoighty knaw what a's doing a-ta'kin' o' me'?
I be'nt wonn as saws 'ere a be'n an' yonder a pe';
An' Squoire 'ull be sa mad an' all'a' dear a' dear!
And I 'a managed for Squoire coom Michaelmas thutty year.
XIII.
A mowt 'a ta'en owd Jo'nes, as 'ant a 'a'poth o' sense,
Or a mowt a' ta'en young Robins'a niver mended a fence:
But godamoighty a moost ta'ke me' an' ta'ke ma now
Wi a'f the cows to cauve an' Thornaby ho'lms to plow!
XIV.
Loook 'ow quoloty smoiles when they sees ma a passin' by,
Says to thess'n naw doot 'what a mon a be' sewer-loy!'
For they knaws what I be'n to Squoire sin fust a coom'd to the 'All;
I done moy duty by Squoire an' I done my duty boy all.
XV.
Squoire's in Lunnon, an' summun I reckons 'ull 'a to wroite,
For who's to howd the lond ater me' thot muddles ma quoit;
Sartin-sewer I be', thot a we'nt niver give it to Jo'nes,
Naw, nor a mo'nt to Robins'a niver rembles the sto'ns.
XVI.
But summun 'ull come ater me' mayhap wi' 'is kittle o' steam
Huzzin' an' ma'zin' the blessed fe'lds wi' the Divil's oa'n te'm.
Sin I mun doy I mun doy, thaw loife they says is sweet,
But sin I mun doy I mun doy, for I couldn abe'r to see it.
XVII.
What atta stannin' theer for, an' doesn bring ma the a'le?
Doctor's a 'to'ttler, lass, an a's hallus i' the owd ta'le;
I we'nt break rules fur Doctor, a knaws naw moor nor a floy;
Git ma my a'le I tell tha, an' if I mun doy I mun doy.