Some Little Bug by John Leroy Atwell Aka Roy Atwell — Stanza

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Some Little Bug

by John Leroy Atwell Aka Roy Atwell

In these days of indigestion

It is oftentimes a question

As to what to eat and what to leave alone;

For each microbe and bacillus

Has a different way to kill us,

And in time they always claim us for their own.

There are germs of every kind

In any food that you can find

In the market or upon the bill of fare.

Drinking water's just as risky

As the so-called deadly whiskey,

And it's often a mistake to breathe the air.

Some little bug is going to find you some day,

Some little bug will creep behind you some day,

Then he'll send for his bug friends

And all your earthly trouble ends;

Some little bug is going to find you some day.

The inviting green cucumber

Gets most everybody's number,

While the green corn has a system of its own;

Though a radish seems nutritious

Its behaviour is quite vicious,

And a doctor will be coming to your home.

Eating lobster cooked or plain

Is only flirting with ptomaine,

While an oyster sometimes has a lot to say,

But the clams we cat in chowder

Make the angels chant the louder,

For they know that we'll be with them right away.

Take a slice of nice fried onion

And you're fit for Dr. Munyon,

Apple dumplings kill you quicker than a train.

Chew a cheesy midnight "rabbit"

And a grave you'll soon inhabit

Ah, to eat at all is such a foolish game.

Eating huckleberry pie

Is a pleasing way to die,

While sauerkraut brings on softening of the brain.

When you eat banana fritters

Every undertaker titters,

And the casket makers nearly go insane.

Some little bug is going to find you some day,

Some little bug will creep behind you some day,

With a nervous little quiver

He'll give cirrhosis of the liver;

Some little bug is going to find you some day.

When cold storage vaults I visit

I can only say what is it

Makes poor mortals fill their systems with such stuff?

Now, for breakfast, prunes are dandy

If a stomach pump is handy

And your doctor can be found quite soon enough.

Eat a plate of fine pigs' knuckles

And the headstone cutter chuckles,

While the grave digger makes a note upon his cuff.

Eat that lovely red bologna

And you'll wear a wooden kimona,

As your relatives start scrappin 'bout your stuff.

Some little bug is going to find you some day,

Some little bug will creep behind you some day,

Eating juicy sliced pineapple

Makes the sexton dust the chapel;

Some little bug is going to find you some day.

All those crazy foods they mix

Will float us 'cross the River Styx,

Or they'll start us climbing up the milky way.

And the meals we eat in courses

Mean a hearse and two black horses

So before a meal some people always pray.

Luscious grapes breed 'pendicitis,

And the juice leads to gastritis,

So there's only death to greet us either way;

And fried liver's nice, but, mind you,

Friends will soon ride slow behind you

And the papers then will have nice things to say.

Some little bug is going to find you some day,

Some little bug will creep behind you some day

Eat some sauce, they call it chili,

On your breast they'll place a lily;

Some little bug is going to find you some day.