Spacious Times, The

[On Drake's return from his filibustering expedition of 1580 the Queen went on board his ship at Deptford, and after partaking of a banquet conferred on him the honour of knighthood, at the same time declaring herself mightily pleased with all that he had done.]

I wish that I had flourished then,

When ruffs and raids were in the fashion,

When Shakespeare's art and Raleigh's pen

Encouraged patriotic passion;

For though I draw my happy breath

Beneath a Queen as good and gracious,

The times of Great Elizabeth

Were more conveniently spacious.

Large-hearted age of cakes and ale!

When, undeterred by nice conditions,

Good Master Drake would lightly sail

On little privateer commissions;

Careering round with sword and flame

And no pretence of polished manners,

He planted out in England's name

A most refreshing lot of banners.

Blest era, when the reckless tar,

Elated by a sense of duty,

Feared not to face his country's Bar

But freely helped himself to booty;

Returning home with bulging hold

The Queen would meet him, much excited,

Pronounce him worth his weight in gold

And promptly have the hero knighted.

No Extra Special, piping hot,

Broke out in unexpected Pyrrhics;

No Poet Laureate on the spot

Composed apologetic lyrics;

Transpiring slowly by-and-by,

The act was voted one of loyalty;

The nation winked the other eye,

And pocketed the usual royalty.

Ere Reuter yet had found his range,

These trifles done across the ocean

Produced upon the Stock Exchange

No preternatural emotion;

Not yet the Kaiserlich I AM

Made winged words and then repented;

He wrote as yet no telegram,

Nor was, in fact, himself invented.

No Justice Hawkins gauged the fault

Of irresponsible incursions;

The early Hawkins, gallant salt,

Knew well the charm of such diversions;

Men never saw that moving sight

When legal luminaries muster,

And very solemnly indict

A well-conducted filibuster.

No Member had the hardy nerve

To criticise our depredations

As unadapted to preserve

The perfect comity of nations;

No High Commissioner would doubt

If brigandage was quite judicial;

Indeed we mostly did without

This rather eminent Official.

No Ministry would care a rap

For theoretic arbitration;

They simply modified the map

To meet the latest annexation;

And so without appeal to law,

Or other needless waste of tissue,

The Lion, where he put his paw,

Remained and propagated issue.

To-day we wax exceeding fat

On lands our roving fathers raided;

And blush with holy horror at

Their lawless sons who do as they did;

No doubt the age improves a lot,

It grows more honest, more veracious;

But, as I said, the times are not

Quite so conveniently spacious.