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The Beaconsfield Alphabet.
by Edward Woodley BowlingA's my new policy called Annexation;
B is the Bother it causes the nation.
C is Lord Chelmsford, engaged with Zulus;
D the Disasters which give me 'the blues.'
E is the Effort I make to look merry;
F is my Failure - deplorable very!
G is Sir Garnett, alas, not ubiquitous!
H stands for H - - t, an M.P. iniquitous.
I stands for India, a source of vexation:
J are the Jews, a most excellent nation.
K is the Khedive, whose plan is to borrow
L L. s. d. - I'll annex him to-morrow!
M's the Majority, which I much prize;
N are the Non-contents whom I despise.
O's the Opposition, so often defeated;
P is P - - ll, that Home-ruler conceited.
Q are the Questions put by noble Lords;
R my Responses, more cutting than swords.
S is the Sultan, my friend true and warm;
T are the Turks, whom I hope to reform.
U's my Utopia - Cyprus, I mean:
V is Victoria, my Empress and Queen.
W's the World, which ere long I shall own;
X is the sign of my power unknown.
Y is the Yacht I shall keep in the Red Sea:
Z the Zulus, whom I wish in the Dead Sea.
(1879).