Edward Lear

A A was an Area Arch Where washerwomen sat;

tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."

There was an Old Derry down Derry, Who loved to see little folks merry; So he made them a Book,

There was an Old Man with a beard, Who said, "It is just as I feared! - Two Owls and a Hen,

There was an Old Man in a tree, Who was horribly bored by a Bee; When they said, "Does it buzz?"

There was a Young Lady of Sweden, Who went by the slow train to Weedon; When they cried, "Weedon Station!"

There was a Young Girl of Majorca, Whose aunt was a very fast walker; She walked seventy miles,

There was an Old Man of the Cape, Who possessed a large Barbary Ape; Till the Ape one dark night,

There was an Old Lady of Prague, Whose language was horribly vague; When they said, "Are these caps?"

There was an Old Person of Sparta, Who had twenty-five sons and one daughter; He fed them on snails,

There was an Old Man at a easement, Who held up his hands in amazement; When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!"

There was an old Person of Burton, Whose answers were rather uncertain; When they said, "How d'ye do?"

There was an Old Person of Ems, Who casually fell in the Thames; And when he was found,

There was an Old Person of Ewell, Who chiefly subsisted on gruel; But to make it more nice,

There was a Young Lady of Parma, Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer; When they said, "Are you dumb?"

There was an Old Man with a flute, A sarpint ran into his boot; But he played day and night,

There was an Old Man of Aosta, Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her; But they said, "Don't you see,

There was an Old Man, on whose nose, Most birds of the air could repose; But they all flew away,

There was a Young Lady of Clare, Who was sadly pursued by a bear; When she found she was tired,

There was a Young Lady whose chin, Resembled the point of a pin: So she had it made sharp,

There was an Old Man of Kilkenny, Who never had more than a penny; He spent all that money,

There was an Old Person of Ischia, Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier; He danced hornpipes and jigs,

There was an Old Man in a boat, Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!" When they said, "No! you ain't!"

There was a Young lady of Portugal, Whose ideas were excessively nautical; She climbed up a tree,

There was an Old Man of Moldavia, Who had the most curious behaviour; For while he was able,

There was an Old Man of Madras, Who rode on a cream-coloured ass; But the length of its ears,

There was an Old Person of Leeds, Whose head was infested with beads; She sat on a stool,

There was a Young Lady of Ryde, Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied; She purchased some clogs,

There was an Old Man of Peru, Who never knew what he should do; So he tore off his hair,

There was an Old Person of Hurst, Who drank when he was not athirst; When they said, "You'll grow fatter,"

There was a Young person of Crete, Whose toilette was far from complete; She dressed in a sack,

There was an Old Man of the Isles, Whose face was pervaded with smiles; He sung high dum diddle,

There was an Old Person of Buda, Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder; Till at last, with a hammer,

There was an Old Man of Columbia, Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer; But they brought it quite hot,

There was a young Lady of Dorking, Who bought a large bonnet for walking; But its colour and size,

There was an Old Man who supposed, That the street door was partially closed; But some very large rats,

There was an Old Man of the West, Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest; When they said, "Does it fit?"

There was an Old Man of the Wrekin, Whose shoes made a horrible creaking; But they said, "Tell us whether,

There was an Old Man with a nose, Who said, "If you choose to suppose, That my nose is too long,

There was a Young Lady whose eyes, Were unique as to colour and size; When she opened them wide,

There was a Young Lady of Norway, Who casually sat in a doorway; When the door squeezed her flat,

There was an Old Man of Vienna, Who lived upon Tincture of Senna; When that did not agree,

There was an Old Person whose habits, Induced him to feed upon Rabbits; When he'd eaten eighteen,

There was an old person of Dover, Who rushed through a field of blue Clover; But some very large bees,

There was an Old Man of Marseilles, Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils; They caught several Fish,

There was an Old Person of Cadiz, Who was always polite to all ladies; But in handing his daughter,

There was an Old Person of Basing, Whose presence of mind was amazing; He purchased a steed,

There was an Old Man of Quebec, A beetle ran over his neck; But he cried, "With a needle,

There was an Old Person of Philae, Whose conduct was scroobious and wily; He rushed up a Palm,

There was an Old Man on a hill, Who seldom, if ever, stood still; He ran up and down,

There was a Young Lady of Bute, Who played on a silver-gilt flute; She played several jigs,

There was a Young Lady whose nose, Was so long that it reached to her toes; So she hired an Old Lady,

There was a Young Lady of Turkey, Who wept when the weather was murky; When the day turned out fine,

There was an Old Man of Apulia, Whose conduct was very peculiar; He fed twenty sons,

There was an Old Man with a poker, Who painted his face with red oker; When they said, "You're a Guy!"

There was an Old Person of Prague, Who was suddenly seized with the plague; But they gave him some butter,

There was an Old Man of the North, Who fell into a basin of broth; But a laudable cook,

There was a Young Lady of Poole, Whose soup was excessively cool; So she put it to boil,

There was an Old Person of Mold, Who shrank from sensations of cold; So he purchased some muffs,

There was an Old Man or Nepaul, From his horse had a terrible fall; But, though split quite in two,

There was a Young Lady whose bonnet, Came untied when the birds sate upon it; But she said, "I don't care!

There was an old Man of th' Abruzzi, So blind that he couldn't his foot see; When they said, "That's your toe,"

There was an Old Person of Rhodes, Who strongly objected to toads; He paid several cousins,

There was an Old Man of Peru, Who watched his wife making a stew; But once by mistake,

There was an Old Man of Melrose, Who walked on the tips of his toes; But they said, "It ain't pleasant,

There was a Young Lady of Lucca, Whose lovers completely forsook her; She ran up a tree,

There was an old Man of Bohemia, Whose daughter was christened Euphemia; Till one day, to his grief,

There was an Old Man of Vesuvius, Who studied the works of Vitruvius; When the flames burnt his book,

There was an Old Man of Cape Horn, Who wished he had never been born; So he sat on a chair,

There was an Old Lady whose folly, Induced her to sit in a holly; Whereon by a thorn,

There was an Old Man of Corfu, Who never knew what he should do; So he rushed up and down,

There was a Young Person of Smyrna, Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her; But she seized on the Cat,

There was an Old Man of the South, Who had an immoderate mouth; But in swallowing a dish,

There was an Old Man of the Nile, Who sharpened his nails with a file; Till he cut off his thumbs,

There was an Old Person of Rheims, Who was troubled with horrible dreams; So, to keep him awake,

There was an Old Person of Cromer, Who stood on one leg to read Homer; When he found he grew stiff,

There was an Old Person of Troy, Whose drink was warm brandy and soy; Which he took with a spoon,

There was an Old Man of the Dee, Who was sadly annoyed by a flea; When he said, "I will scratch it,"

There was an Old Man of Dundee, Who frequented the top of a tree; When disturbed by the crows,

There was an Old Person of Tring, Who embellished his nose with a ring; He gazed at the moon,

There was an Old Man on some rocks, Who shut his wife up in a box; When she said, "Let me out,"

There was an Old Man of Coblenz, The length of whose legs was immense; He went with one prance,

There was an Old Person of Chili, Whose conduct was painful and silly; He sate on the stairs,

There was an Old Man of Calcutta, Who perpetually ate bread and butter; Till a great bit of muffin,

There was an Old Man in a pew, Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue; But he tore it in pieces,

There was an Old Man who said, "How, - Shall I flee from this horrible Cow? I will sit on this stile,

There was a Young Lady of Hull, Who was chased by a virulent Bull; But she seized on a spade,

There was an Old Man of Whitehaven, Who danced a quadrille with a Raven; But they said - "It's absurd,

There was an Old Man of Leghorn, The smallest as ever was born; But quickly snapt up he,

There was an Old Man of the Hague, Whose ideas were excessively vague; He built a balloon,

There was an Old Man of Jamaica, Who suddenly married a Quaker; But she cried out - "O lack!

There was an old person of Dutton, Whose head was so small as a button; So to make it look big,

There was a Young Lady of Tyre, Who swept the loud chords of a lyre; At the sound of each sweep,

There was an Old Man with a gong, Who bumped at it all the day long; But they called out, "O law!

There was an Old Man who said, "Hush! I perceive a young bird in this bush!" When they said - "Is it small?"

There was an Old Man of the East, Who gave all his children a feast; But they all ate so much,

There was an Old Man of Kamschatka, Who possessed a remarkably fat cur, His gait and his waddle,

There was an Old Man of the Coast, Who placidly sat on a post; But when it was cold,

There was an Old Person of Bangor, Whose face was distorted with anger; He tore off his boots,

There was an Old Man with a beard, Who sat on a horse when he reared; But they said, "Never mind!

There was an Old Man of the West, Who never could get any rest; So they set him to spin,

There was an Old Person of Anerley, Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly; He rushed down the Strand,

There was a Young Lady of Troy, Whom several large flies did annoy; Some she killed with a thump,

There was an Old Man of Berlin, Whose form was uncommonly thin; Till he once, by mistake,

There was an Old Lady of Chertsey, Who made a remarkable curtsey; She twirled round and round,

There was an Old Person of Spain, Who hated all trouble and pain; So he sate on a chair,

There was a Young Lady of Russia, Who screamed so that no one could hush her; Her screams were extreme,

There was an Old Man, who said, "Well! Will NOBODY answer this bell? I have pulled day and night,

There was a Young Lady of Wales, Who caught a large fish without scales; When she lifted her hook,

There was an Old Person of Cheadle, Was put in the stocks by the beadle; For stealing some pigs,

There was a Young Lady of Welling, Whose praise all the world was a-telling; She played on the harp,

There was an Old Person of Tartary, Who divided his jugular artery; But he screeched to his wife,

There was an old Person of Chester, Whom several small children did pester; They threw some large stones,

There was an Old Man with an owl, Who continued to bother and howl; He sate on a rail,

There was an Old Person of Gretna, Who rushed down the crater of Etna; When they said, "Is it hot?"

I. Calico pie, The little birds fly

"How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!" Who has written such volumes of stuff! Some think him ill-tempered and queer,

There was a young person of Bantry, Who frequently slept in the pantry; When disturbed by the mice,

There was an old person of Bromley, Whose ways were not cheerful or comely; He sate in the dust,

There was an old man of Thermopylae, Who never did anything properly; But they said, "If you choose

There was an old person of Shields, Who frequented the vallies and fields; All the mice and the cats,

There was an old man of Dunluce, Who went out to sea on a goose: When he'd gone out a mile,

There was an old man of Dee-side Whose hat was exceedingly wide, But he said, "Do not fail,

There was an old person in black, A Grasshopper jumped on his back; When it chirped in his ear,

There was an old man of the Dargle Who purchased six barrels of Gargle; For he said, "I'll sit still,

There was an old person of Pinner, As thin as a lath, if not thinner; They dressed him in white,

There was an old person of China, Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah, Amelia and Fluffy,

There was an old man in a Marsh, Whose manners were futile and harsh; He sate on a log,

There was an old person of Brill, Who purchased a shirt with a frill; But they said, "Don't you wish,

There was an Old Man at a Junction, Whose feelings were wrung with compunction When they said, "The Train's gone!"

There was an old person of Wick, Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick; Chickabee, Chickabaw."

There was an old man at a Station, Who made a promiscuous oration; But they said, "Take some snuff! -

There was an old man of Three Bridges, Whose mind was distracted by midges, He sate on a wheel,

There was an old man of Hong Kong, Who never did anything wrong; He lay on his back,

There was a young person in green, Who seldom was fit to be seen; She wore a long shawl,

There was an old person of Fife, Who was greatly disgusted with life; They sang him a ballad,

There was an old man who screamed out Whenever they knocked him about: So they took off his boots,

There was a young lady in white, Who looked out at the depths of the night; But the birds of the air,

There was an old person of Slough, Who danced at the end of a bough; But they said, "If you sneeze,

There was an old person of Down, Whose face was adorned with a frown; When he opened the door,

There was an old person of Minety, Who purchased five hundred and ninety Large apples and pears,

There was a young person in red, Who carefully covered her head, With a bonnet of leather,

There was an old person of Hove, Who frequented the depths of a grove; Where he studied his books,

There was a young person in pink, Who called out for something to drink; But they said, "O my daughter,

There was an old lady of France, Who taught little ducklings to dance; When she said, "Tick-a-tack!"

There was an old person of Putney, Whose food was roast spiders and chutney, Which he took with his tea,

There was an old person of Loo, Who said, "What on earth shall I do?" When they said, "Go away!"

There was an old person of Woking, Whose mind was perverse and provoking; He sate on a rail,

There was an old person of Dean Who dined on one pea, and one bean; For he said, "More than that,

There was a young lady in blue, Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?" When they said, "Yes, it is,"

There was an old Man in a Garden, Who always begged every one's pardon; When they asked him, "What for?"

There was an old person of Deal, Who in walking used only his heel; When they said, "Tell us why?"

There was an old person of Pisa, Whose daughters did nothing to please her; She dressed them in gray,

There was an old person of Florence, Who held mutton chops in abhorrence; He purchased a Bustard,

There was an old person of Sheen, Whose expression was calm and serene; He sate in the water,

There was an old person of Ware, Who rode on the back of a bear; When they ask'd, "Does it trot?"

There was a young person of Janina, Whose uncle was always a fanning her; When he fanned off her head,

There was an old man of Cashmere, Whose movements were scroobious and queer; Being slender and tall,

There was an old person of Cassel, Whose nose finished off in a tassel; But they call'd out, "Oh well!

There was an old person of Pett, Who was partly consumed by regret; He sate in a cart,

There was an old man of Spithead, Who opened the window, and said, - "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble,

There was an old man on the Border, Who lived in the utmost disorder; He danced with the cat,

There was an old man on the Humber, Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber; When he said, "It's enough!"

There was an old man of Dumbree, Who taught little owls to drink tea; For he said, "To eat mice

There was an old person of Filey, Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly; He danced perfectly well,

There was an old man whose remorse Induced him to drink Caper Sauce; For they said, "If mixed up

There was an old man of Ibreem, Who suddenly threaten'd to scream; But they said, "If you do,

There was an old person of Wilts, Who constantly walked upon stilts; He wreathed them with lilies

There was an old person of Grange, Whose manners were scroobious and strange; He sailed to St. Blubb

There was an old person of Newry, Whose manners were tinctured with fury; He tore all the rugs,

There was an old man of Dumblane, Who greatly resembled a crane; But they said, "Is it wrong,

There was an old man of Port Grigor, Whose actions were noted for vigour; He stood on his head

There was an old man of El Hums, Who lived upon nothing but crumbs, Which he picked off the ground,

There was an old man in a barge, Whose nose was exceedingly large; But in fishing by night,

There was an old man of West Dumpet, Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet; When he blew it aloud,

There was an old person of Sark, Who made an unpleasant remark; But they said, "Don't you see

There was an old man whose despair Induced him to purchase a hare: Whereon one fine day

There was an old person of Barnes, Whose garments were covered with darns; But they said, "Without doubt,

There was an old person of Nice, Whose associates were usually Geese. They walked out together

There was a young lady of Greenwich, Whose garments were border'd with Spinach; But a large spotty Calf

There was an old person of Cannes, Who purchased three fowls and a fan; Those she placed on a stool,

There was an old person of Ickley, Who could not abide to ride quickly; He rode to Karnak

There was an old person of Hyde, Who walked by the shore with his bride, Till a Crab who came near

There was an old person in gray, Whose feelings were tinged with dismay; She purchased two parrots,

There was an old man of Dunrose; A parrot seized hold of his nose. When he grew melancholy,

There was an old man of Ancona, Who found a small dog with no owner, Which he took up and down

There was an old person of Sestri, Who sate himself down in the vestry; When they said, "You are wrong!"

There was an old person of Blythe, Who cut up his meat with a scythe; When they said, "Well! I never!"

There was a young person of Ayr, Whose head was remarkably square: On the top, in fine weather,

There was an old person of Rimini, Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!" When they said, "Please be still!"

There is a young lady, whose nose, Continually prospers and grows; When it grew out of sight,

There was an old person of Ealing, Who was wholly devoid of good feeling; He drove a small gig,

There was an old man of Thames Ditton, Who called out for something to sit on; But they brought him a hat,

There was an old person of Bray, Who sang through the whole of the day To his ducks and his pigs,

There was a young person whose history Was always considered a mystery; She sate in a ditch,

There was an old man of Toulouse Who purchased a new pair of shoes; When they asked, "Are they pleasant?"

There was an old person of Bow, Whom nobody happened to know; So they gave him some soap,

There was an old person of Rye, Who went up to town on a fly; But they said, "If you cough,

There was an old person of Crowle, Who lived in the nest of an owl; When they screamed in the nest,

There was an old Lady of Winchelsea, Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see On the floor of my room,

There was an old man in a tree, Whose whiskers were lovely to see; But the birds of the air

There was a young lady of Corsica, Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur; Which she fed upon ham,

There was a young lady of Firle, Whose hair was addicted to curl; It curled up a tree,

There was an old person of Stroud, Who was horribly jammed in a crowd; Some she slew with a kick,

There was an old man of Boulak, Who sate on a Crocodile's back; But they said, "Towr'ds the night

There was an old person of Skye, Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly: They buzz'd a sweet tune,

There was an old person of Bree, Who frequented the depths of the sea; She nurs'd the small fishes,

There was an old man of Blackheath, Whose head was adorned with a wreath Of lobsters and spice,

There was an old man, who when little Fell casually into a kettle; But, growing too stout,

There was an old person of Dundalk, Who tried to teach fishes to walk; When they tumbled down dead,

There was an old person of Shoreham, Whose habits were marked by decorum; He bought an Umbrella,

There was an old person of Bar, Who passed all her life in a jar, Which she painted pea-green,

There was a young person of Kew, Whose virtues and vices were few; But with blamable haste

There was an old person of Jodd, Whose ways were perplexing and odd; She purchased a whistle,

There was an old person of Bude, Whose deportment was vicious and crude; He wore a large ruff

There was an old person of Brigg, Who purchased no end of a wig; So that only his nose,

There was an old man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena; She wore a small wig,

I. Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos Climbed to the top of a wall.

I. On a little piece of wood Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:

A A was an ant Who seldom stood still,

A a A was once an apple-pie,

A A was an ape, Who stole some white tape,

The Absolutely Abstemious Ass, who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.

Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,            or SQUAT,

The Bountiful Beetle, who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain, and left it at home when it did.

I. The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs, They all took a drive in the Park;

The Comfortable Confidential Cow, who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.

I. On the Coast of Coromandel Where the early pumpkins blow,

I. She sate upon her Dobie, To watch the Evening Star,

I. Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs, Dressed in brown and gray,

The Dolomphious Duck, who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner with a Runcible Spoon.

When awful darkness and silence reign Over the great Gromboolian plain, Through the long, long wintry nights;

I. Said the Duck to the Kangaroo, "Good gracious! how you hop

The Enthusiastic Elephant, who ferried himself across the water with the Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.

The Excellent Double-extra XX imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a long while ago.

The Fizzgiggious Fish, who always walked about upon Stilts, because he had no legs.

The Good-natured Grey Gull, who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag, across the river, because he could not swim.

The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen, who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl, and bought a Fish for her Supper.

The Inventive Indian, who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a Stupendous Silver Spoon.

The Judicious Jubilant Jay, who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses, Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.

I. They went to sea in a sieve, they did; In a sieve they went to sea:

The Kicking Kangaroo, who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress with Blue spots.

The Lively Learned Lobster, who mended his own Clothes with a Needle and Thread.

The Melodious Meritorious Mouse, who played a merry minuet on the Piano-forte.

There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, Who invented a purely original dress; And when it was perfectly made and complete,

I. The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table; The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;

The Nutritious Newt, who purchased a Round Plum-pudding for his grand-daughter.

The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich, who wore Boots to keep his feet quite dry.

I. The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat:

King and Queen of the Pelicans we; No other Birds so grand we see! None but we have feet like fins!

The Perpendicular Purple Polly, who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie with his Spectacles.

I. The Pobble who has no toes Had once as many as we;

I. On the top of the Crumpetty Tree The Quangle Wangle sat,

The Queer Querulous Quail, who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of a Tin Tea-kettle.

The Rural Runcible Raven, who wore a White Wig and flew away with the Carpet Broom.

The Scroobious Snake, who always wore a Hat on his Head, for fear he should bite anybody.

I. Said the Table to the Chair, "You can hardly be aware

The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise, who beat a Drum all day long in the middle of the wilderness.

Two old Bachelors were living in one house; One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse, -

The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker, whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was always covered by his Umbrella.

The Visibly Vicious Vulture, who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a Volume bound in Vellum.

The Worrying Whizzing Wasp, who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a Flute with a Morning Cap.

The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, whose Head was ever so much bigger than his Body, and whose Hat was rather small.

The Zigzag Zealous Zebra, who carried five Monkeys on his back all the way to Jellibolee.