A USE-FUL les-son you may con, My Child, from the Cha-me-le-on: He has the gift, ex-treme-ly rare
The Kitten mews outside the Door, The Cat-bird in the Tree, The Sea-mew mews upon the Shore,
THE Pen-guin sits up-on the shore And loves the lit-tle fish to bore; He has one en-er-vat-ing joke
It's very nice to think of how In every country lives a Cow To furnish milk with all her might
A Birdie cocked his little head, Winked his eye at me and said, "Say, are you a Pussy Willer,
When I grow up I mean to be A Lion large and fierce to see. I'll mew so loud that Cook in fright
I'd best beware how I make free With Brander Matthews L. L. D. Since Prexy Wilson's paved the way
Dear Reader, should you chance to go To Hades, do not fail to throw A "Sop to Cerberus" at the gate,
I love to picture Daniel Frohman In costume of a noble Roman. For Dan has just the style of hair,
If you should ask me, whether Dante Drank Benedictine or Chianti, I should reply, "I cannot say,
Behold Belasco in his den, Wielding the scissors, paste and pen, And writing with consummate skill
Up into the Cherry Tree, Who should climb but little me, With both my Paws I hold on tight,
Kittens large and Kittens small, Prowling on the Back Yard Wall, Though your fur be rough and few,
When Plain Folk, such as you or I, See the Sun sinking in the sky, We think it is the Setting Sun,
Somehow I always like to think Of GEORGEADE as a Summer Drink, Sparkling and cool, with just a Tang
The very name of Bernard Shaw Fills me with mingled Mirth and Awe. Mixture of Mephistopheles,
Kittens, you are very little, And your kitten bones are brittle, If you'd grow to Cats respected,
When Hafiz saw the portrait free, By Monty Flagg, of him and me, He made remarks one can't repeat
At evening when the lamp is lit, The tired Human People sit And doze, or turn with solemn looks
In Rome, when Morgan came to town, They nailed the Colosseum down. A great Collector! Once his Fad
For Perfect Form there are but few That can compare with Mr. Drew; A Form most fittingly displayed
Well I recall how first I met Mark Twain - an infant barely three Rolling a tiny cigarette
I like to draw Napoleon best Because one hand is in his vest, The other hand behind his back.
Will Shakespeare, the Baconians say, Was the Belasco of his day-- Others more plausibly maintain
EV-ER-Y child who has the use Of his sen-ses knows a goose. See them un-der-neath the tree
Here's to the man who invented stairs And taught our feet to soar! He was the first who ever burst
MY child, ob-serve the use-ful Ant, How hard she works each day. She works as hard as ad-a-mant
OB-SERVE the Cat up-on this page. Phil-os-o-phers in ev-er-y age, The ver-y wis-est of the wise,
The Centaur led a double life: Two natures in perpetual strife He had, that never could agree
This is the El-e-phant, who lives With but one aim - to please. His i-vo-ry tusk he free-ly gives
Great is the Golden Cat who treads The Blue Roof Garden o'er our heads, The never tired smiling One
The Hydra Hercules defied, Its nine diminished heads must hide Before the baneful modern beast
Biologists are prone to sniff At hybrids like the Hyppogriff. In evolution's plan, they say,
To call a Jinn the only thing One needed was a magic ring. You rubbed the ring and forth there came
The Lion does not move at all, Winter or Summer, Spring or Fall, He does not even stretch or yawn,
Although a Fishwife in a sense, She does not barter Fish for Pence. Fisher of Men, her Golden Nets
The Gentle Milk Jug blue and white I love with all my soul, She pours herself with all her might
OH, turn not from the hum-ble Pig, My child, or think him in-fra dig. We oft hear lit-er-a-ry men
SO this is the Rhi-no-ce-ros! I won-der why he looks so cross. Per-haps he is an-noyed a bit
O wondrous worm that won the Height Of Fame by keeping out of sight! Never was known on Land or Sea
The Siren may be said to be The Chorus-Lady of the Sea; Tho' Mermaids claim her as their kin,
The Sloth en-joys a life of Ease; He hangs in-vert-ed from the trees, And views life up-side down.
She was half Lady and half cat-- What is so wonderful in that? Half of our lady friends (so say
The Unicorn 's a first-rate sort. He helps the Lion to support The royal arms of England's King
THIS is the Yak, so neg-li-g'e: His coif-fure's like a stack of hay; He lives so far from Any-where,
Here's to our Readers, Health! good Looks! And Joy ad infinitum And may they live to read our Books
We drink your health, O Waiter! And may you be preserved From old age, gout, or sudden death!--
Not squirrels in the park alone His love and winter-kindness own. When Literary Fledglings try