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Breitmann As An Uhlan. V. Breitmann in Bivouac
by Charles G. LelandHe sits in bivouacke,
By fire, peneat' de drees;
A pottle of champagner
Held shently on his knees;
His lange Uhlan lanze
Stuck py him in de sand;
Vhile a goot peas-poodin' sausage
Adorn his oder hand.
Und jungere Uhlanen
Sit round mit oben mout'
To hear der Breitmann's shdories
Of fitin in de Sout'
Und he gife dem moral lessons,
How pefore de battle pops:
'Take a liddle brayer to Himmel,
Und a goot long trink of schnapps.'
Denn his leutenant bemarket:
'How voonder shdrange it peen
Dat so very many wild pigs
Ish dis year in de Ardennes.
Ash I sout dere donner'r'wetter!
I sah dem coom heraus,
Shoost here und dere an Eber
Mit a hoondert tousand sows.
'Shoost dink of all dese she-picks
Vot flet to neutral land!'
Said Breitmann: 'Fery easy
Ish dis to oonderstand:
Dese schwein-picks mit de sauen
Vot you saw a-roonin rond,
Ish a crate medempsygosis
Of the Fr'ntsch' demi-monde.
'I hafe readet in de Bible
How soosh a coterie
Vas ge-toornet into swine-picks,
Und roon down indo de see;
Boot since de see aint handy,
Or de picks vere all too dumm,
Dey hafe coot across de porder
Und vly to Belgium.'
Now ash dey boorst oud laughin,
Und got more liquor out,
Dey hearden from de sendry
A shot und denn a shout.
Und Breitmann crasp his sabre
Quick ash de bullet hiss,
Und leapin out, demantet,
'Herr'r'r'r Gott! vat row ish dis?'
Und bold der Schwabian answert:
'Dis minute on de ground
Dere comed a Fr'ntschman greepin,
On all-fours a-prowlin round.
I ask him vat he vanted;
Werda! I gry; boot he
Say nodings to my shallenge,
Und only answer 'Oui.'
'So I shoot him like der teufels,
Und I rader dink our friend,
Dis sneakin Frank-tiroir,
Ish a-drawin to his end.'
So dey hoonted in de pushes,
Und in avery gorner dig,
Boot, mein Gott! how dey vas laughin,
Ven dey found a mordered pig.
Next week dey hear from Paris,
Und reat in de Gaulois
Of de most adrocious action
De vorlt vas efer saw.
How de Uhlan cannibalen,
Dis vile und awful prood,
Hafe killt a nople Fr'ntschman,
Und cut him oop for food.
'Ja shop him indo sausage,
Und coot him indo ham;
Und schwear dey'll serfe all oders
Exacdly so py tam!
Sons of France, awake to glory,
Let your anciend valor shine!
Und shweep dis Prussian vermin
Het und dails indo de Rhine!'